I find that great things have happened to me lately when I stepped outside of my comfort zone or did things that I usually don't do or said Yes when in fact i really wanted to say No.
Have you watched the movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey? The plot is about a man in his mid 40s who lives in the past, still thinks about the ex-girlfriend he broke up with 3 years ago, and always says "no" to everything. Then one day he goes to a conference and becomes a "Yes Man". From then on he has to say YES to everything..and so he meets a girl, gets his friends back, gets a promotion at work, etc... The movie is of course exaggerated and romanced, but the underlying message is still true: be more open, try new things, don't be scared to put yourself in uncomfortable situations and you might bring greatness onto your life.
Don't be afraid to say YES.
YES to that dinner party you didn't want to go to because you don't know anyone; you might meet the man/woman of your dream, or simply make new life-long friends.
YES to that yoga/cooking/salsa/knitting/[feel in the blank] class you didn't want to try because you think it's lame/hard/for old people/[feel in the blank again]; you might find a new hobby and something you're actually good at.
YES to that business network social event you didn't want to go to because you can't be bothered mingling and small-chatting with people today; you might meet your next business partner or someone who could help you build up that business you've always dreamt of having.
This is how people grow and evolve. How are you supposed to better yourself if you always do the same things, always go to the same places, always talk to the same people, always read the same kind of books? Don't you think that you owe it to yourself to have a life as full and interesting as possible? And this has nothing to do with where you live, how much you earn or how big your house is. Everyone can make changes, small or big, and everyone can decide to be more opened. At the end of the day, only YOU can make that decision and take that step forward, so GO! DO IT! JUMP! It will only hurt the first few seconds.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So what happens when it all hits the fan?
I told you that it might be hard to write a feel-good blog when I, myself, am not feeling all that pink and pretty all the time. And I said that it would be a test..well the results are in: real life 1 - Serena 0. I have failed. These past few weeks have been pretty dreadful and I have not been able to pull out of it to continue the blog, hence the abandoned pages. I could tell you that I am giving up and that the idea of a feel-good blog was too ambitious. How could have I promised to write about positiveness when I know that everything can change in a second? Well, let's try again..2nd chance, 2nd attempt at making this blog work (I am giving myself 3 chances just so you know where this is going).
So then, what is there to do when shit hits the fan? You can do like I do, disappear from the world, close your curtains, lock your door, turn off your cell phone, crawl up in your bed, open that pack of tim tams (or oreos, or pepito..depending on the country you're reading me from), and start with the first rented movie of the pile. Of course the movies have been purposely chosen to make you even more miserable..think Philadelphia, Boys don't cry, or the Notebook and Sleepless in Seattle if you just had your heart broken. Because what would be the point of renting movies like the 40 year old virgin or Ratatouille when the goal of that hibernation is to feel the most miserable possible?
Ok, so you are in your dark room, crumbs of biscuits all over your bed, coming to the end of the movie pile and feeling nauseous...now what? Another run to the video store? more ice cream? This is the tipping point. The split second where you have to be strong enough to say STOP! The split second that will either put you out of your misery or make you dive even deeper into the darkness. OOUUHH sounds scary!
I am not going to try to give you the right solution here, as i don't know it myself. Yes, shit hits the fan sometimes, and yes it is ok to crawl up in your bed and turn off your cell phone, but do not abuse your "i'm depressed, leave me alone privilege". There are people out there who love you and who would do anything to help you, LET THEM! Watch as many movies as you like, but I assure you that real life, real blue skies, real people are so much more interesting, and even though getting out of that bed seems like the hardest things you could ever do, once that step is taken, you'll see, getting on with your life is not that hard!
So take time off, but do not abuse it. Life is so much more fun outside of your bedroom's four walls. Go on, sit at a cafe and read the paper, go back to the gym, take a yoga class, call the friends you have let down, put some music on and re-arrange your room, cook a nice meal (sure beats the tim tams!!), bake some cookies and invite your friends for tea, go fishing, and the list go on and on. Just LIVE and give yourself a bit of a break...it is OK to not feel good sometimes, no one will kill you for it. That's life, it goes up and down. Find what makes you happy and treat yourself and your body the way you know they deserve it!
So then, what is there to do when shit hits the fan? You can do like I do, disappear from the world, close your curtains, lock your door, turn off your cell phone, crawl up in your bed, open that pack of tim tams (or oreos, or pepito..depending on the country you're reading me from), and start with the first rented movie of the pile. Of course the movies have been purposely chosen to make you even more miserable..think Philadelphia, Boys don't cry, or the Notebook and Sleepless in Seattle if you just had your heart broken. Because what would be the point of renting movies like the 40 year old virgin or Ratatouille when the goal of that hibernation is to feel the most miserable possible?
Ok, so you are in your dark room, crumbs of biscuits all over your bed, coming to the end of the movie pile and feeling nauseous...now what? Another run to the video store? more ice cream? This is the tipping point. The split second where you have to be strong enough to say STOP! The split second that will either put you out of your misery or make you dive even deeper into the darkness. OOUUHH sounds scary!
I am not going to try to give you the right solution here, as i don't know it myself. Yes, shit hits the fan sometimes, and yes it is ok to crawl up in your bed and turn off your cell phone, but do not abuse your "i'm depressed, leave me alone privilege". There are people out there who love you and who would do anything to help you, LET THEM! Watch as many movies as you like, but I assure you that real life, real blue skies, real people are so much more interesting, and even though getting out of that bed seems like the hardest things you could ever do, once that step is taken, you'll see, getting on with your life is not that hard!
So take time off, but do not abuse it. Life is so much more fun outside of your bedroom's four walls. Go on, sit at a cafe and read the paper, go back to the gym, take a yoga class, call the friends you have let down, put some music on and re-arrange your room, cook a nice meal (sure beats the tim tams!!), bake some cookies and invite your friends for tea, go fishing, and the list go on and on. Just LIVE and give yourself a bit of a break...it is OK to not feel good sometimes, no one will kill you for it. That's life, it goes up and down. Find what makes you happy and treat yourself and your body the way you know they deserve it!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Leave the wicked tongue outside
One of the hardest and greatest lessons I have learnt these past few months is that most people are deceitful. How old did I say I was again? 27. And I am only realizing this NOW? Well, yes. What can I say? I was very very very (note the emphasis on the adverb here) naive. And a lot of my friends can second me on this. I had a tendency to trust everyone and never question anyone. If they said it, then I believed it. Looking back on it, I find it pretty sad, but hey, at least it allowed me to live in the land of rainbows and fairies for a little longer than the average person.
And then one day I woke up. Of course, I can pin point the events that led me to finally open my eyes to the possibility that well, maybe, people are not always who they say they are. So little by little, I started questioning everything, paying attention, and little by little I started discovering an entirely new world: adulthood!
Why am I writing this article now? Well because something happened today that confirmed my theory once again: people saying one thing in front of you and then something completely different in your back. Sometimes I even wonder if they realize how bad they can be. The only thing that makes me feel better is that these people have to have a reason to be that mean: jealousy, sexual frustration, sleep deprivation, etc..So, really poor them! Because that's what these people are: poor; poor of feelings, poor of humanity, poor of relationship skills. Instead of saying things as they think them, they go behind your back; instead of showing you who they really are, they put an act on.
The hardest part is that these are usually people you have trusted, people you thought were good persons, and then it all collapses. All these beliefs you had; all that trust you put in them is shattered.
In France with have a saying: "la bave du crapaud n'atteint pas la blanche colombe" which literally means "the toad's dribble does not reach the white dove", or 'All these nasty things that are said about me do not affect me'.
I do not want to make this article go on and on like I have a tendency to do, so I will give my words of wisdom for a happier life now. Here they are: Do not get affected by what is said from these wicked tongues. THEY are the miserable ones in this story and in fact the ones who would really need OUR help at the end of day. Do not put yourself down; know that you are stronger and better than them. And do not play their game: if you have something to say, say it, or don't, but do not spread bad words behind their back. It would only mean that you are as bad as them...
And then one day I woke up. Of course, I can pin point the events that led me to finally open my eyes to the possibility that well, maybe, people are not always who they say they are. So little by little, I started questioning everything, paying attention, and little by little I started discovering an entirely new world: adulthood!
Why am I writing this article now? Well because something happened today that confirmed my theory once again: people saying one thing in front of you and then something completely different in your back. Sometimes I even wonder if they realize how bad they can be. The only thing that makes me feel better is that these people have to have a reason to be that mean: jealousy, sexual frustration, sleep deprivation, etc..So, really poor them! Because that's what these people are: poor; poor of feelings, poor of humanity, poor of relationship skills. Instead of saying things as they think them, they go behind your back; instead of showing you who they really are, they put an act on.
The hardest part is that these are usually people you have trusted, people you thought were good persons, and then it all collapses. All these beliefs you had; all that trust you put in them is shattered.
In France with have a saying: "la bave du crapaud n'atteint pas la blanche colombe" which literally means "the toad's dribble does not reach the white dove", or 'All these nasty things that are said about me do not affect me'.
I do not want to make this article go on and on like I have a tendency to do, so I will give my words of wisdom for a happier life now. Here they are: Do not get affected by what is said from these wicked tongues. THEY are the miserable ones in this story and in fact the ones who would really need OUR help at the end of day. Do not put yourself down; know that you are stronger and better than them. And do not play their game: if you have something to say, say it, or don't, but do not spread bad words behind their back. It would only mean that you are as bad as them...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Where did the postman go?
I've been thinking about that post for a while now. I would come back home at the end of the day, know what I want to write about, get myself in front of the computer, but nothing would come out. Geez, it must be hard to be a writer: you have that idea, you know what you want to write, but once in front of a white page, no words come out; you don't know where to start and how to translate in "real" all these flying abstract ideas you have in your head. Anyway, that was a big parenthesis to explain why there has not been a new post on my blog for the past few days. It might happen often, so do not hate me; I will eventually write; the timing just has to be right.
What prompted me to write this post is a small parcel I found in my mailbox the other night. When I get to my driveway, I can get a peak of what's inside the mailbox from afar, and that night I saw a small parcel. It may sounds stupid, but for a few seconds I really hoped the parcel was for me, that it would have my name written on it, but unfortunately it didn't; it had my flatmate's name on the front. So I took the parcel and dropped it in front of her room.
That episode made me think that we do not use the mailing services enough anymore. I remember receiving letters from my father when I was a kid (late 80s, early 90s). My father lived abroad, so phoning was really expensive and not practical with the time difference, and Internet, emails and skype didn't exist, so we would write. I remember being so excited when mom came back with a letter. Sometimes there would even be a drawing inside. It was always a surprise, a little cheer at the end of the day.
Unfortunately most of us lost that. We now entirely rely on emailing and skyping and do not get me wrong, I bless both, but isn't it nice to receive real letters from times to times?
I already hear the ones advocating against pollution and for the environment, and saying that emailing has allowed us to save trees and forests and all. And funnily enough this post comes at a rather interesting moment, as I just read an article in today's paper about Finland deciding to scan private mail to be able to send it through email to the recipients to cut on hiring fees, petrol, carbon dioxide, and time in the most rural parts of the country. But not too worry, the mail will still be delivered, just not as often as before. Quite funny indeed.
Well even if it means using more petrol for the postman to come to my house, I still believe it will be nice once in a while to receive a real letter or a small parcel; something you can touch, you can feel, you can smell, that unexpected dash that brightens your day.
Plus, another REALLY good reason to write letters is that these days the only letters we receive are bills, so it will be a nice break to receive something that doesn't ask you to write a check.
So here it is, reader, my words of wisdom for a happier life: ask your friends and your family for their postal address (yes because I am sure that most of you do not even know it) and get writing!
What prompted me to write this post is a small parcel I found in my mailbox the other night. When I get to my driveway, I can get a peak of what's inside the mailbox from afar, and that night I saw a small parcel. It may sounds stupid, but for a few seconds I really hoped the parcel was for me, that it would have my name written on it, but unfortunately it didn't; it had my flatmate's name on the front. So I took the parcel and dropped it in front of her room.
That episode made me think that we do not use the mailing services enough anymore. I remember receiving letters from my father when I was a kid (late 80s, early 90s). My father lived abroad, so phoning was really expensive and not practical with the time difference, and Internet, emails and skype didn't exist, so we would write. I remember being so excited when mom came back with a letter. Sometimes there would even be a drawing inside. It was always a surprise, a little cheer at the end of the day.
Unfortunately most of us lost that. We now entirely rely on emailing and skyping and do not get me wrong, I bless both, but isn't it nice to receive real letters from times to times?
I already hear the ones advocating against pollution and for the environment, and saying that emailing has allowed us to save trees and forests and all. And funnily enough this post comes at a rather interesting moment, as I just read an article in today's paper about Finland deciding to scan private mail to be able to send it through email to the recipients to cut on hiring fees, petrol, carbon dioxide, and time in the most rural parts of the country. But not too worry, the mail will still be delivered, just not as often as before. Quite funny indeed.
Well even if it means using more petrol for the postman to come to my house, I still believe it will be nice once in a while to receive a real letter or a small parcel; something you can touch, you can feel, you can smell, that unexpected dash that brightens your day.
Plus, another REALLY good reason to write letters is that these days the only letters we receive are bills, so it will be a nice break to receive something that doesn't ask you to write a check.
So here it is, reader, my words of wisdom for a happier life: ask your friends and your family for their postal address (yes because I am sure that most of you do not even know it) and get writing!
Monday, March 29, 2010
I want it NOW!
Today was an ok day; it had its ups and downs like every other day really, but then towards the end of the evening something happened that frustrated me. As I was walking away, I became annoyed at myself that such a small, insignificant event could have even touched me and let alone frustrated me. So I wondered: why am I frustrated? The answer came astonishingly easily: because I didn't get what I wanted at the exact moment I wanted it. That thought scared me.
It scared me because it made me realize that I am a spoiled brat. It is nothing to be ashamed of, as I am laying the blame entirely on the fact that I was born in 1982, the middle of the Generation Y era where instant communication technologies have taken over the world. You just sent an SMS, and Oh My God, it's been two and a half seconds and no answer!!! You sent an email yesterday, and nothing in your email box today..spam? no nothing there either..very strange.. something must be wrong! You posted something on facebook, and no comments yet; what are your 865 friends thinking?? And what about all these new portable gadgets: iPhones, blackberries, etc... Did you seriously need to answer to that email while you were having lunch with your friends? And do not say yes, as I would not believe you (unless you are the president of the republic and an international matter requires your immediate attention). I mean, isn't that crazy? We live in a society where everything has to be NOW!
This is where I put my foot down. Let's breathe and think for a second. Is your life going to be irreversibly changed if your friend does not immediately answer to your SMS or reply to your email or comment on your Christmas party photos on facebook or come over for a drink? The answer is probably not. You will SURVIVE. You will be able to go on with your day just fine, believe me. So take a deep breathe and walk away. Walk away from that unjustified frustration. Maybe your friends' mobile was out of signal, or maybe they were busy with their own problems (Did you even bother asking if they were ok instead of jumping at them with a "where were you? I called you all day??"), or maybe they were just tired and wanted a little alone time.
This "I want it NOW" attitude is in fact a kind of selfishness. Because you are free and available at that precise time, you want everyone else to be. But it does not work like that..unfortunately..
So, this will be my first words of wisdom for a happier life "be ok with waiting an hour, a day, a week...it will make the day you finally receive that email, or text, or see that person you've been waiting to see for so long EXTRA SPECIAL"
And I know what I am talking about...
A demain..
It scared me because it made me realize that I am a spoiled brat. It is nothing to be ashamed of, as I am laying the blame entirely on the fact that I was born in 1982, the middle of the Generation Y era where instant communication technologies have taken over the world. You just sent an SMS, and Oh My God, it's been two and a half seconds and no answer!!! You sent an email yesterday, and nothing in your email box today..spam? no nothing there either..very strange.. something must be wrong! You posted something on facebook, and no comments yet; what are your 865 friends thinking?? And what about all these new portable gadgets: iPhones, blackberries, etc... Did you seriously need to answer to that email while you were having lunch with your friends? And do not say yes, as I would not believe you (unless you are the president of the republic and an international matter requires your immediate attention). I mean, isn't that crazy? We live in a society where everything has to be NOW!
This is where I put my foot down. Let's breathe and think for a second. Is your life going to be irreversibly changed if your friend does not immediately answer to your SMS or reply to your email or comment on your Christmas party photos on facebook or come over for a drink? The answer is probably not. You will SURVIVE. You will be able to go on with your day just fine, believe me. So take a deep breathe and walk away. Walk away from that unjustified frustration. Maybe your friends' mobile was out of signal, or maybe they were busy with their own problems (Did you even bother asking if they were ok instead of jumping at them with a "where were you? I called you all day??"), or maybe they were just tired and wanted a little alone time.
This "I want it NOW" attitude is in fact a kind of selfishness. Because you are free and available at that precise time, you want everyone else to be. But it does not work like that..unfortunately..
So, this will be my first words of wisdom for a happier life "be ok with waiting an hour, a day, a week...it will make the day you finally receive that email, or text, or see that person you've been waiting to see for so long EXTRA SPECIAL"
And I know what I am talking about...
A demain..
Sunday, March 28, 2010
That's what this blog is all about
After yesterday's quite painful experience, I have decided to pass on the blog description..no long description, but 4 words instead: how to be happy. Quite a move from my old blog, which was, like a lot of blogs, a mere narrative of my day to day life. And it was fine because at that time I was living in New York and crazy things happen in New York all the time, so my day to day life was actually pretty intense and newsworthy (to my readers). But 2 years have gone by and a lot has changed. I am not saying that my life is now so boring that it does not deserve a proper blog, but I just don't feel the desire to share it anymore. I mean of course there will be stories about my life on this blog, but I want it to be more than that.
I want this blog to be a sanctuary. Ok, sanctuary might carry too much meaning and you are going to think that I stepped onto the dark side and that I am now a hippie Buddhist jah-loving who walks barefoot, talks to the birds and worships the sun. Let's try again: I want this blog to be a place to come to to recharge your battery, a place that makes you smile, a place that makes you forget that you just had the worst day at work, a place that makes you want to try new things, to get out there and be the best you can be. I want this blog to be INSPIRATIONAL. Even I realize that I am putting the bar very very very high here, and as I write these words I'm wondering how long I will last. How long until my own life breaks into pieces and I have no kind words left to say? Well, I guess that's my challenge. By keeping this blog positive, I will keep myself positive...hopefully. Oh well, what's the worst that can happen anyway? Boring you with my 2 cents feel-good philosophy? I think I'll survive. Running out of inspiration? Then that will be the end of the blog, but I would have tried, and I would be proud and happy I did. So here it is. My new inspirational blog. Welcome to the world, blog! Now, let's have fun.
A demain..
I want this blog to be a sanctuary. Ok, sanctuary might carry too much meaning and you are going to think that I stepped onto the dark side and that I am now a hippie Buddhist jah-loving who walks barefoot, talks to the birds and worships the sun. Let's try again: I want this blog to be a place to come to to recharge your battery, a place that makes you smile, a place that makes you forget that you just had the worst day at work, a place that makes you want to try new things, to get out there and be the best you can be. I want this blog to be INSPIRATIONAL. Even I realize that I am putting the bar very very very high here, and as I write these words I'm wondering how long I will last. How long until my own life breaks into pieces and I have no kind words left to say? Well, I guess that's my challenge. By keeping this blog positive, I will keep myself positive...hopefully. Oh well, what's the worst that can happen anyway? Boring you with my 2 cents feel-good philosophy? I think I'll survive. Running out of inspiration? Then that will be the end of the blog, but I would have tried, and I would be proud and happy I did. So here it is. My new inspirational blog. Welcome to the world, blog! Now, let's have fun.
A demain..
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Lesson 1: never mix up the escape with the delete button
Here I am in front of my fetus of a blog, all excited to go back to blogging (yes this is my second blog-writing attempt) writing beautiful sentences in the "blog description" box . I had just written the last word, when, wanting to delete a full stop I hit the escape button instead of the back button and it all disappeared in a second. Quite funny how that happens..you spend hours (ok, in that case maybe not hours but still..it feels like hours) writing, putting your best thoughts out there and BAM, it's gone, all gone, all that effort for nothing. And it's not that you can rewrite exactly what you had written the first time around. I mean I could have tried, and I would have probably come very close but it just would not have felt the same..it would have been like reheated food (and i'm not talking about the kind of food that actually tastes better the next day): good, good but not great.
Now I wonder..should I serve you reheated food tonight or should I just leave it at that: a short, introductory article that basically says nothing about me or what this blog is all about, or should I try, open the microwave and pop that Tupperware in? Well, even though I am in a writing mood tonight, I think I will stop here...and start anew tomorrow with a wholly new blog description.
So here it is, reader, my first article and it feels so good to be back! A demain..
Now I wonder..should I serve you reheated food tonight or should I just leave it at that: a short, introductory article that basically says nothing about me or what this blog is all about, or should I try, open the microwave and pop that Tupperware in? Well, even though I am in a writing mood tonight, I think I will stop here...and start anew tomorrow with a wholly new blog description.
So here it is, reader, my first article and it feels so good to be back! A demain..
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